Hello Kittens,

It has been too long since your luscious bloggo has provided you quality mental droppings. Today I would like to impart some delicious little tips for all struggling with the beast that is relationships. In my journeys I have learned that emotional transperancy concerning the opposite sex is completely the wrong course of action when engaging in the early phases of the relationship. Saying something like "hey, back in 2004 I had rectal surgery and had to wear feminine pads everyday!!" will not move the realtionship foward. You must adhere to simple pleasantries like "hey, it is cold outside." or the "how are your teeth doing." Calling/texting/e-mailing are all viable means of communication; however when doing this never leave a message on their voicemail. It will always come off the wrong way and you will get a response like "do you know that I have a boyfriend/girlfriend?!!" Never try to move too quickly. For example, after calling the person for the first time do not ask to meet for dinner. IT WILL COMBUST. Bottom line for all you men out there: get a large object, bash a women over her head, throw her over you shoulder, and take her home. Bottom line for all you women out there: RUN!!!

Kisses and tickles to all my children.


Love to Feces and ASiaT.
Passion Derelict